I live in my apartment with my plant , and with stoled cactus. I stoled it from Malibu beach. It lives now in my tea-mug. My Brumelia and my cactus can live in the worst conditions. Ok, that is finish about my friends. Now about me. You know, this is awesome in US that I can borrow 50 books from library, in Europe 4 per mounth is a lot. So, I borrowed 6, Malte /Rilke/, "The Voyager" Robbe-Grillet, something of Kundera,...

I need a soul.I need a second soul. I need a real soul.Soul which would can see me.Really see me.This is unreal.This is imposible forever. I don't have any illusion. My life is disillusion. I move in a blank space. But I'm waiting. I'm waiting all the time. I want to fall. I want to fall inside. I want to be in. But everything is imposible for somebody who is only in half. I will be walking through this city. I will be waiting for a word. I'm scared. I'm living on the edge of myself. I env...

Please, I can' t stand it anymore.Please, take it from me. Can' t stand it anymore, please take it away from me. Why you did it. Why you entered. Why you did this, why. Yes, you can stay wih him forever--he is so strong,so masculine, so manly. You don't really like him, bu you like his power over you, you like his ugly man body, you like his deep, masculine voice, you like his big hands and his hard lips.You don' t like him, you don't love him, but you love to be his woman, but you love to ...

I can't even think. I can't even think about it. I can't believe it. I have to make rituals to make it gone. 3 months passed. 3 months like 3 centuries. Everything has changed, everything has changed. The pain is like the air, it's normal. Something sweet and warm prevents me from sleeping. I can't sleep, I can't sleep without a word, without a word FROM YOU!. I don't know you, I don't know who you are, but you came and now you are living inside warm and sweet, like a vermin, like a worm. ...

I can't stop. I can't stop. I need it. My inner emptiness requires it. This is her fault. Only her. My emptiness. I don't believe in that, but I need it. This poison is my cure. I will give you my soul. Just look at me. Your body means nothing to me. I need you everywhere. You will never know about it , because it is a shame. My proper existence and my improper inner solitude. I am improper. I mean nothing to you and you will never know me. Nobody will never know me. I am quiet and fals...