I need a help from the mankind. I still believe in kindness of the People. So I expect some guidance from the wise and sympathetic souls. Question is: I feel completely dead inside. What should I do. Any suggestions? Sincerely, Me

My writing is just a writing of no importance. That's obvious and there is no question about it. What one can write to really feel that he had done something what has any meaning to the world. If it was about money, government, sports, politics , or male-female games and struggles, oh, this maybe would have that sacred meaning. But my writing has no meaning , therefore it implies i have no meaning either. I can write about the books, or movies or about the dozens of really weirdest examples ...

I am in the starting point. Again. Enough of people, and those shady relationships with them. Enough. It makes me weak. I am so susceptible for people influence. Why they are so cruel to me, with their hands, with their smiles, with they sweet words, with their admiration to me. I have no defenses. Cruel fakers. Sleazy mental perverseness. That's their constitution. I cannot cope with it. It remains me weak and crazy. They are coming so close too me, they are killing me, they intrude me. T...

Stranger between Russians , stranger between Americans. Whenever I go, I'm the only one, the unique one, the stranger. Whenever I go I have an accent, whenever I go I feel inside of me. Although, i like them , and they like me,/ some of them even too much/ Russians are awesome, / for now/, Americans are O.K, I feel deep sadness today. Everyday afraid that they could discover mine strangeness, and get rid of me, and leave me alone without any connection with the outside world, without any pla...

Hello I don't know what happened but I just decided to stop being brainless anymore. It's getting boring already. Just watched "River's edge". Keane like always bad, bad, bad, boring, bad , whatever. The movie itself medium, some scenes definitely too long without any meaning/ esp. with Keanu, they should cut him a little/ but CRISPIN GLOVER is just awesome, amazing, interesting, crazy. I will only remember him. Going back to me: Stupid, stupid day. Didn't sleep well so I was a lit...

First, what i want to say is: I don't understand why i can't upload images into my blog anymore. I don't like it this way. It doesn't work anymore--maybe now I'm doing something incorect, but I don't think so. Would be grateful if somebody tell me what's wrong. I need the images and photos here. Desperately. Second, it is kind of tiring to check if my spelling is always corect/ because I use to write fast and checking words in the dictionary distracts me/ so please don't send me this kind...

I'm afraid. I'm in the panic. Can't sleep, can't do anything. Now I want to do everything just to escape from this fear, from this panic. Where are you??? Where are you??? I'm waiting forth day, looking at doors, if anybody from you will come, if you will come You know, that your eyes, are burning me like a fire, when i'm looking in your eyes, the day starts. I love you. I know I'm nobody. I know I have no job. I know I'm hopeless. I know I have a bad accent. I know I'm not thrustwor...

Have you ever been in the middle of the real confusion??? I'm there again, and again. Every day deeper and deeper the confusion drags me in. Drags me in into a mud. I'm not a bad person. Despite of that what everybody thinks. I'm scared. Every day more and more scared. They use to say with a big, perky confidence--there is always a solution- but here, in my case-there is no sulution at all. Is he really my soul I was praying for 1o months ago or is he my devil?Or maybe he is my soul, but t...

I'm going to do that. i don't know how , but I will.I will get what I want from life. Why not me. I made my mind.No more time for writing. Good bye admin.Selfish ignorant who knows nothing about literature. Don't be so serious in your life, it will kill you. Do you know what irony or caricature is? I don't think so.And don't watch to much American movies. It skewed you. Read some good european literature, for example: Austrian. Good luck.

Nothing here is mine. Nothing here is mine. Everything is so far away from me as if it doesn't exist at all. The house I live in, the streets I walk, the people I talk to. Everything seems to be just an vague illusion, like a half-existences, like ghosts. Ghost-houses, ghost-streets, ghost-trees, ghost-people. Even food is not real, even the food is just a ghost-food. So, I made a tour. I made a tour through my area. You know, I left my ghost-house, 1 o'clock in the middle of the night, du...

Eh, enough of this gloomy atmosphere. Everybody has enough of it, eeeeverybody. Everybody hates me now- probably--so let's make a little twist. I'm doing well, very well, althought there is a dead bird in my backyard, dead bird without a head, actually, to be descriptive I have to say--he has a head, but only a half of the head. There is a dead body in my backyard. Everyday, since two days I have to pass this dead body, this corpse , few times per day. But I'm doing really great. I had a ...

Today I decided to try a little provocation. Just to provoke a little. I'm not sure how to do it , of course. I won't tell anything-- just will go to sleep with a slight hope, that somone will be able to read between my verses. Just a little hope, no expectations. Not really believe that, not really believe. One shouldn't expect to much of course, especially this kind of one I personify. You know, I'm not sure if my meaningless beign can provoke anybody from this huge and meaningful WOR...

Everything I want to tell you, I can't tell you. Close in the dark bottle forever. Set me free please, regardless of the danger, regardless of catastrophy. I'm taking all those pils I can find in my empty house, to get rid of this pain. I'm eating, I'm reading, I'm watching, I'm listening, I'm talking, I'm drinking, day in and day out. Nothing changes. Still every night I go behind my house. I go behind my house and spend there few houres. Go behind my house wanting to kill myself. Not ser...

OK, there must be a reason. In this case, there must be. I use to believe, througout my whole life, there were no reasons. No reasons at all. But this case, this one particular case makes me sure-- there must be a reason--and there is a reason. But I don't know what kind of reason of course. That would be great to know what kind of reason, that would be really nice, really helpful, I could even say, but I don't know this reason of course, I don't. But I', m not pessimistic in this case. This...

Please, I can' t stand it anymore.Please, take it from me. Can' t stand it anymore, please take it away from me. Why you did it. Why you entered. Why you did this, why. Yes, you can stay wih him forever--he is so strong,so masculine, so manly. You don't really like him, bu you like his power over you, you like his ugly man body, you like his deep, masculine voice, you like his big hands and his hard lips.You don' t like him, you don't love him, but you love to be his woman, but you love to ...